A View from the Other Side...

Something drove me to stop reading work emails, gathering clothes to wash, sorting through the piles in my office...

...and reheat my coffee (in my beautiful new handcrafted mug), retreat to my back deck (badly in need of repainting) with not-so-mini Cooper to reflect.

Two dear people have recently been diagnosed with cancer and have asked my advice.  Their questions give me pause..., 

"Did I actually go through this?" 

I have to stop, and trace my steps backward - a reliving of sorts.  It's odd.

These are both strong, beautiful women, one a colleague (liver cancer), the other a former student, only 27 years old (breast cancer).  Life seems so unfair!!!  I want to scream out loud, "WHY???" even though I don't think that way about my own cancer anymore.

Most days my own journey through diagnosis, surgeries, treatment, and recovery are distant memories, buried under the busy-ness of daily life.
Even looks at my breast-less self in the mirror seem "normal" (most days).  

Then it happens to someone else, and my heart breaks.

The feelings come streaming back, a door to my own past, one that's merely ajar (most days), opens wide... and it's visceral.  I empathize with their pain, their fears, their questions, trepidations, tears, and that hard-to-describe rug-pulled-out-from-under-your-feet sensation.

THEN, I realize how far I've come. That prayers, support, love sustained me as it will these two.

A blip on the radar...

We had our faculty orientation this week during which recent years' performance was shared and goals for the future outlined (you all know the drill).  Oddly, I likened the brief downturn in our enrollment numbers/retention rate/overall funding to MY brief downturn.  Just another part of life, a blip on my radar.

In the middle it's SO hard to see through.  We get lost in what feels like a whirlwind, a trap or maze you can't escape.  You feel paralyzed at times and it's tough to even put one foot in front of the other.  I get this.

You do too.

It's not just cancer.  Life itself serves up CRAP.  I don't know why, and I'm not sure that matters.

Perspective does. Reactions do.

In conversation with one of these dear women yesterday we wondered about positivity.  "I don't know why I'm not really worried... I feel positive, and I know I'm going to get through this," she shared, even though her cancer is serious and rare.  I don't know either, but I understand that feeling.

Cancer put things in perspective for me in a way no other life experience has.  I KNOW what matters now.  It's truly not my yard (that needs resodding), my deck, my laundry, my office piles, or my work emails.  It's people and relationships.  It's family and friends.

And doggies ;)

Happy weekend, and happy first days of school to my teacher friends with students (and former STUDENTS with students) who need you even if they don't know it yet :)

My First Fundraising Effort... at least for BC!

I get emails from Susan G. Komen on a regular basis, along with those from BreastCancer.org, CURE, GMC's Cancer Center, and more.  Depending on my mood, time, and level of interest/fear of recurrence, I explore or ignore these communications.

The last time I considered participating in a Komen event it was the 3-day thing.  I created an account, logged in, and set about the registration process before realizing that I had to commit to raising $$$THOUSANDS!!! -- just to participate!!!  Needless to say, I was frustrated - because I don't like asking friends to support me monetarily (I DO, on the other hand, regularly request support for my precious daughter through JDRF ;) :tup  ) - and I was disappointed - because I believe every $ counts, and participation alone has it's benefits for survivors...

Nonetheless, I saw THIS event and realized it was more my style anyway:   http://atlanta.info-komen.org/site/TR/RacefortheCure/ATL_GreaterAtlantaAffiliate?fr_id=5185&pg=entry 
I just LOVE the girl in the middle picture with her pink tutu!!!  I'm going to have to design a costume -- crafty and creative friends, bring on the suggestions :)

I welcome ANY and ALL of you who'd like to join me in this endeavor <3 p="">

To play some "catch-up"

It's been exactly 482 (give or take one or two -- I'm counting on my iPhone to give me the correct answer!) days since my last dose of chemotherapy, and about 436 days since my last surgery :tup

I still go in to see my oncologist every 3 months, but will "graduate" to every 6 months after my October 2015 visit :e

So far, so good - and I DO expect this trend to continue!!!  I feel great (most days - until I work out too much and feel the pain that my precious daughter describes as "proof you're making a difference!").  

If you followed my end-of-treatment updates and remember I had some aggravating neuropathy, I'm happy to share that it's mostly gone and I'm no longer on medication for it!!!  I still take my daily dose of anti-cancer/hormone suppression anastrozole - that has some lovely side effects, but I'm not complaining since it's adding to the chance I'll stay clear :)

I'm dealing with some strange rashes that may be due to chemo and the changes in my body... but may just be that I'm getting OLD ;)  I'm even used to being boobless and have found an awesome VS sports bra with padding that I don't EVEN have to put my "chicken cutlets" in :r

Believe it or not, it's nearly time for me to be covered for NEW ones and NEW bras -- do I go bigger, smaller... :brow

SOOOOOOO...

That's about it for now about me!  I've been incredibly blessed to be able to share my own journey and survivorship with others at different stages in theirs.  I'd also like to request prayers from my angels for a dear sorority sister dealing with a different and challenging form of cancer :angel

If you are so inclined, make a small donation to my effort to support progress toward a CURE for Breast Cancer :h

~Lynn

A Season of Anniversaries

I can't believe it's July 1st!  Time to pull out the new calendar -- well, I've already been using it, but the true transition begins today.  I still use an academic calendar, the kind that runs from July to June.  In making this transition I always look back over the year to update my new one with birthdays, anniversaries, and the like. Here it is - I decided to get a smaller one this year:

Looking at last July, my stomach knotted and I had to sit down...
SO many BC related appointments!!!

Wow, what a difference a year makes!

Or does it?  Yes, I'm a little grayer (a lot if I'm being honest -- or at least visibly grayer ;) ), a tad less toned (but I'm working on that!), and certainly flatter chested (lol), but, otherwise, someone I haven't seen in a year might not notice too much of a change.

Segue -- do I use too many commas?  too many dashes? do I use them correctly? Just wondering ;)

Back to the topic...  On the inside, however, I'm certainly not the same person.  

A little over a month ago I started feeling the power of the passage of time.  How it dulls the pain.  How getting caught up in the wonderful things of life can push bad memories into far corners, behind the to-do lists of today and dreams for tomorrow.  

It seems surreal from this vantage point, a full year beyond the indescribable fear.

It was the 6th of June last year that I felt my life shift -- a bit before that if I'm still being honest, but denial and hope are powerful forces too!  This was our 26th anniversary, and the day of my diagnosis.

June 18th was the day I lost my right breast (begone you evil thing!), and tomorrow, July 2nd, is the anniversary of my first oncology appointment.  I can clearly remember stepping out of the elevator, onto the 4th floor, turning right, and facing the CANCER CENTER.  It became my home away from home for nearly six months -- at least I felt that way -- and the recollections aren't all bad.  
Though sitting in the "comfort" of the chemo suite last July 17th watching the nurse push toxic chemicals into my body through my chest port (the one sometimes-visible-above-my-neckline scar that indicates to those in the know that I'm a member of the club), followed by a 4-hour toxic drip for the first time, was a frightening experience.  And the red urine that followed... Ugh!

At this age it might seem odd to be thankful for the passage of time.  My friends and I so frequently wonder, "Where did time go?" "How did we get to be this OLD?"  But for me, the passage of time is a true gift, each day a victory I'm thankful for.  My peripheral neuropathy is improving, as is my cognitive fog (a.k.a. chemo brain).  

In this season of anniversaries, I'm also indescribably grateful for the love and support from dear friends and family.

And the prayers that truly sustained me -- and still do in times of doubt and fear.

I went to a store in Athens today, a wonderful place called Andree's that a good friend shared with me, to get some hypoallergenic, fragrance free hair and body products.  The owner is a cancer survivor who developed the products (she makes them herself) for her mother who also had cancer.  We chatted about our journeys - she just celebrated her 10 year anniversary :e  I told her I was 1 down and 9 to go to be there myself, an anniversary I aim to achieve!

Oh!!!  I nearly forgot to mention that we're Paris bound in a month :tup  
My dear mom's graduation gift to my precious daughter -- and I get to tag along ;)

So... au revoir pour maintenant chers amis!  Je vous ferai part des photos quand nous reviendrons!

Voici une photo de mon frère et moi en1975:

(Translator tool:  HERE)

No, la tour Eiffel is NOT leaning -- my dear mother took this picture ;)

Renewal from Inside and Outside

It's been awhile since my last post, but my experiences last week impel me to be thankful for life, and to share :)

Last Thursday was our 27th wedding anniversary.  It was also the first anniversary of my breast cancer diagnosis.  I'm doing well!  So this post is about renewal; looking forward rather than back...

I just returned from a week-long program for teachers held on site at the Foxfire Center in Rabun County, GA. (I encourage you to out the links below for more info - I won't go into too much detail here ;) ):

• Foxfire
• The Foxfire Approach to Teaching

It's PURPOSE - and shouldn't everything we intend and about which we're desirous have one? - is to provide an experience that challenges teachers (and future teachers) to reflect on personal assumptions about instruction, students, curricula and standards, assessment, and current educational contexts, and to engage in consideration of - in hopes we will internalize and begin to practice - a more constructive, experiential, student-centered approach.

The facilitators are indescribably amazing (I'm so fortunate that both are professional colleagues of mine), and the company of fellow educators (pre-service Masters students, current K-12 teachers, and some from higher ed) couldn't have been better!

Intense reflection, introspection, dialog, and collaborative application took place... and many wonderful relationships were forged.  We worked both mornings and afternoons, save the morning-long guided tour of the property (artifacts and buildings on site were gathered, deconstructed if necessary, and reconstructed on site - land that was purchased in the mid-1960s, through a joint decision between a teacher and his students, with royalty money from the first Foxfire Magazine publication -- their own work!). 

A Grist Mill with unique engineering beyond my ability to explain!

The LAST REMAINING wagon used by US Federal Forces during the Trail of Tears :(

 You should surely visit if you have the opportunity!

Regardless of our "busy-ness" we had time for deep philosophical conversations, casual yummy dinners in Clayton and Dillard, laughing until we cried into the wee hours (along with more than a bit of juvenile behavior -- I know what you're thinking, Not THAT juvenile ;)), and hikes into the beautiful Appalachian Mountains.  Several of us made it deep into the lush forest to see Holcomb Creek Falls, and I kept up with some very young and fit women -- WOO HOO!

My maiden name, for those of you who are wondering!

I'll surely be a better teacher for this experience.  If you're an educator at any level, public, private, or homeschool, I highly recommend you look into participating!  The program is sometimes brought into schools through a cohort model, and I wouldn't dissuade you if you have the chance to participate locally, but I guarantee the on-site sessions are more powerful!

So enough of that!!!  

You know how you feel when someone starts raving about a personal experience like a trip, a film, or a book and you have no connection, thus NO idea what they're talking about or why it's such a big deal?  Know what I mean?  But, hey! thats EXACTLY what we do to students (often) in schools!!!  We talk about/teach stuff TO them rather than setting up opportunities for THEM to help plan and manage their OWN learning experiences!  Wanna know how (and why)?  Check out Foxfire ;)

So, that was my INTERNAL renewal!  As for the OUTSIDE -- we couldn't have had better weather, perhaps 10 or so degrees cooler than home, or a better, more fascinating guide (one of our group members who lives in the area) who graciously shared some local gems.  It felt wonderful to breath the fresh mountain air, hear the birdsong and waterfalls, and be renewed.

Now it's back to reality, where I'll strive to keep alive the fire that was kindled.
This week brings BOTH of my wonderful children's birthdays - more of life to CELEBRATE!

I do want to share this quote, from a book given to me during my meander by a dear DKG friend:

Sometimes our thoughts turn back toward a corner 

in a forest, or the end of a bank, or an orchard

powdered with flowers, seen but a single time...

yet remaining in our hearts... is not forgotten,

a feeling we have just rubbed elbows with happiness.

~Guy de Maupassant

{(Hugs)} to you, dear friends.

Oh Good Gosh!!!

Well, I haven't posted in quite some time, both because I've been SUPER BUSY - in a mostly good way - and because there's not been much to share (except my Foto Friday pix [mostly Friday anyway] - shared again below).

But now...

I'm SO frustrated because, after having grown back nice and thick, I'm losing my eyelashes and eyebrows AGAIN!!!

I noticed a few of them shedding a couple of weeks ago, but didn't think much of it.  In fact, I actually thought it was my make-up brush shedding - since I need new ones ;)  But it seems... NOT so much!

Hmmph.

I combed the Internet searching for an explanation.  I mean - REALLY???  I've already gone through this ONCE, and that's certainly ENOUGH!!!  Some folks said, "This is not chemo-related," others said, "It may be stress-related" (you think???), and others posited, "Perhaps med-related?"

Come to find out, our hair sheds anyway - knew that - and so do our lashes and brows.  So, since they ALL came back at the same time, they're ALL on the same dang shedding cycle!  Utter CRAZINESS!!!

AND, I tossed my special, handy-dandy eyebrow pencil to boot, thinking, "Ha - I'll never need THAT again!"  So I've ordered another.  And now I have yet another good reason to continue my pack-rat habits I was SO trying to break :tup
So THERE, dear hubby!

Otherwise, I'm feeling really well most days - though sometimes the odd "tiredness" so many warned me about hits like a semi-truck and I can't seem to put one foot in front of the other.  Thankfully this isn't often!  My energy seemed to peak about a month ago after my iron infusion, and now seems to be waning again - so I'll check with my oncologist when I see him again in a few weeks for my 6-month post-chemo appointment!

Maybe it's because I'm just getting fat, not exercising the way I KNOW I should!!!  My poor Fit Bit just sits on my vanity, wondering when I'm going to get my act together :||
And poor mini Cooper isn't so "mini" these days given I'm not walking HIM either! (and "Daddy" only takes him around the corner - lol)

But - my feet aren't so bad now that I'm taking meds for the neuropathy (that is when I REMEMBER to take them on time!!!)  I'm actually considering trying some ADHD meds -- seriously.  I've always just coped with it but, since my 2013 Midlife Meander, I don't seem to have the focus I used to - which isn't saying much!  We'll see.  I've already had to clear more cabinet space for what I'm taking now - lol.

So HERE'S the Photo Set - a little over 3-month's worth of progress:

December 25th

January 3rd

January 10th

January 24th

January 31st

February 7th

February 11th

February 21st

March 1st

March 2nd - 8th

March 14th

March 22nd

March 28th

And just ONE MORE thing --- I'm so VERY ExCiTeD and  SUPER PROUD of my precious daughter who will graduate in early May from GCSU with a BS in Community Health!!!  

She has a summer internship with JDRF, where we hope she will be able to make some connections and find gainful employment - since SHE's not sure how long she can stand to be back at home ;)

I have to end with this - something I was re-reading the other evening as I reflected on the fact that this is an ongoing journey.  I will have doubts and experience fear, then will forget about it for long periods of time (I have already and it seems odd).  But then something will cause the un-realness of it all to come flooding back.  But I DO move on!  I credit my faith, and the unbelievable support and encouragement I've received - and continue to receive - from so many.

A reassuring whisper to the battered soul, 

a calming song to the shaken spirit...

this is the way love works.

~Melvina Young~

Feeling Like a Sur-thriver!

CLICK to hear Michael singing it!!!

Yes, I'm feeling pretty darn good :tup

I have to share (re-share for my FB friends) this, even though it just scratches the surface:

For those of you who don't know, I had an iron infusion on Tuesday, February 4th and I feel like a new woman!!!

Besides the renewed coloring above, I've got more energy than I've had in YEARS!  And, for better or worse, I've got that jittery tension (best way to describe it) feeling again:

Like the "old days", I've got a thousand things going on at once, my mind's running 90-to-nothing, I'm flitting from one thing to the other... and it's oddly comforting ;)

Also, my hands and feet don't seem to be quite as cold all the time :)  Yes, my oncologist was correct when he said, "You'll feel SO much better."  Gotta love that guy!

I got some test results since my last post to share:

1. GOOD and BAD news from my thyroid ultrasound -- no nodules or lesions (Yay!!!) but I do have some inflammation.  Off to see another new doctor next week, an endocrinologist, to further assess.  Still on the Synthroid.
2. BAD and GOOD? news from my bone density test -- osteoporosis in my left hip and lumbar spine (but I knew this), and osteopenia in the other hip and several other parts of my spine.  My gyn/major angel called me Tuesday to explain why he's no longer recommending I take Prolia.  He said the jury's still out on long-term effects of this relatively new drug and, as I was already aware from researching after an adverse reaction early last year, commonly used treatments like Fosomax and Boniva have been shown to grow bone but not STRONG bone, actually exacerbating the risk of fractures after 5 years of use!!!  He said that even though my fracture risk is elevated, because I'm still ONLY 50 (he actually said, "... because you're still so young," and I thanked him ;) ) we're better off adding extra calcium and D3 than taking any of these products - even WITH the bone-depleting anti-cancer aromatase inhibitor I'm taking!  So we wait and retest in 2 years :)

It's a good thing I didn't bust it on the sled yesterday!!!  Cooper knew better than to hang with me on this one :r

Oh, and I have to share THIS with you!  Remember my CRAP shirt???  (Link if you don't)  Well here's what the author of I Have to Get Some Things Off My Chest and creator of the shirts posted on her FB page yesterday:

Isn't it AWESOME???

I still feel so blessed to be where I am today.  I think often about where I might be if my lump hadn't screamed out, "I'M HERE" early last May.  And if my gyn/angel had believed the mammo and ultrasound that followed!

Life is still a journey of recovery - and discovery, of resilience, of miracles.  I treasure each day for its opportunities - and time.  Because we just never know. 

And one more thing:

SO tired of seeing Doctors!

Yes, I know how fortunate I am to have a great team of physicians, but I'd really like a break from them - at least for a while!!!

I actually added one to the team last week, a gastroenterologist who thoroughly impressed me at my first appointment, but let me back up...

I was already scheduled to see my internist/PCP on January 10, just to touch base after my December surgeries and take care of some testing she'd wanted to do when I first went to her last June.

Well, the visit included taking 5 vials of blood that revealed continued anemia (not a surprise), high cholesterol (big surprise???), and a TSH reading that was through the roof (WTH???).  We also discussed my irritating neuropathy, and she recommended Gabapentin, suggesting I double-check with my oncologist since I'm now on that fun ZERO HORMONE anti-cancer regimen :)

Since I already had an appointment scheduled with my oncologist (my first 3-month follow up), he and I discussed both the neuropathy treatment (the G drug it is - better than nothing, but...) and what to do about my iron issues!  

I've had trouble with low hemoglobin and ferritin levels since I was 12...

and have tried countless times to remedy the situation with iron supplements to no avail.  

A funny segue... 

When I was completing my initial paperwork at the cancer center (hematology-oncology center actually, and this DOES matter to the story), the office person asked if I'd ever been a patient there before.  "No!" I insisted, "This is my first time with cancer." :/

"That's odd," she said, "because you're already in our system, from quite some time ago it seems."

I'm sure I scrunched up my face in a questioning gesture, then I assured her, again, that I'd never been in that office before in my life!

Long story short, it seems I DID see one of the physicians, as a hematology patient some 15 years ago when they were housed in an adjacent facility.  AND, I vividly recall - now - how scared I was when I read the door sign that said "Hematology-ONCOLOGY". Did they think I had cancer of the blood or something???  

I also recall being asked into this physician's office where I sat across from his large desk, he with his hands clasped, leaning forward on rested elbows to declare matter of factly - not ASK - "You either chew ice or eat dirt."  Period. He just stared at me, not in an unkind manner, but I was totally taken aback!  "Well, I certainly don't eat dirt!" I insisted.  We went on to have a rather informative conversation about anemic symptoms and their concomitant cravings (yes, an ice chewer I'd been for years), and he put me on a strong iron supplement that I took for less than a month before the accompanying gastric issues prompted me to quit.  THIS doctor, by the way, is best bud/golfing partner of my most amazing surgeon, and the oncologist I'd likely have seen had my internist/PCP not recommended the one I have!  

Another segue...

The cancer center administrator just happens to be a former next door neighbor of ours (something I didn't know before my BC dx), and SHE thinks my oncologist is an A-hole - I gather because he, according to her, walks into the center in the morning in deep thought and doesn't speak (or laugh and joke in the halls as I've seen the others do).  She chalked it up to his preoccupation with his job - something I PREFER in a physician - and that he's newer to the practice.  Consequently, she had another oncologist, the doctor I happened to have seen years earlier for my anemia and the center's supposed BC go-to guy, serepticiously follow my oncologist's plan for my treatment, just to be sure.  I guess I should be grateful, and glad/relieved since he approved, but I trusted my own onco from the beginning!

...where was I???

Oh, the iron issue.  So I'm going in this Tuesday for a 6 to 7 hour long iron infusion.  My onco - the guy I trust - suggested this might be a better solution than trying oral supplements, yet again, in the hope they'll bring my levels up in 4-6 months.  My iron levels will be NORMAL on Tuesday afternoon :e

Also, the aromatase inhibitor I'm taking - and will be for "...at least 5, more likely 10, years," according to my onco - causes bone loss :o  Well, I already have osteoporosis (not -penia) in my left hip, both ankles, and lumbar spine, probably from the long undiagnosed celiac, so my gyn has suggested I take Prolia (already tried and had a bad reaction to Fosomax).  BUT, in order to start he needs a new baseline bone density.  That's tomorrow morning, SIGH.

Oh, and I started taking Synthroid/levothyroxine last week for my thyroid, likely Hashimoto's since my mom has it and I have all these other fun autoimmune issues :i
Had an ultrasound on Friday - just to check for other possible things going on...
Worst thing about THIS med is having to get up and take it on an empty stomach, then refrain from eating or drinking anything for 30 minutes to an hour.  Last week I tried to put this time to good use and spent 30 minutes on my treadmill.  This morning I went back to sleep ;)

Now, for my NEWEST doctor:  

I waited over an hour from my appointment time to see her, but after our "visit" I'd wait TWO!!!  She was friendly, receptive, thorough, and caring; and though my internist/PCP recommended her (along with several other non- medical people), it turns out she's good friends with my gyn and they were actually neighbors for 10 years!!!  Coincidence or serendipity?  Nonetheless, she's doing a colonoscopy on me later this month :~

I guess it's better to get all this out of the way, and maybe March and April will be MINE!!!

On a HAPPY note, especially for those of you who don't follow the blog on Facebook, my hairses are growing back!!!  A bit more pepper than salt, and I went out today for the first time sans head covering ;)
I also have thicker eyelashes than I've had in YEARS!!!  You know how, especially as a teenager, you used to "forget" to remove your mascara, then sort of picked it off, and accidentally pulled out a few lashes once in a while???
Well I got a shot at a brand new set :)

And, Mini Cooper enjoyed the snow!

Hugs to you all, and if you're wondering why in writing this now, no, I'm NOT watching the Super Bowl - much prefer college football and will catch the commercials on YouTube ;)

Will I be more S or P?

I'm taking bets!

Seriously, though, I AM taking a poll:

Will I be more SALT or more PEPPER?
	Salt/Gray
	Pepper/Brown
pollcode.com free polls

It's still hard to tell...

Here are a few picks so far:

So, whadya think???

I dyed my hair for years, the first time as a college sophomore when, after getting my first REALLY short cut - punk style - my hairdresser noted the quarter-sized white/gray spot in the back of my head!

"WHAT the...???" I exclaimed.  

As it turned out, this was an early manifestation of the vitiligo (click link) that I've dealt with most of my adult life - thanks much, family genes!

This is the autoimmune disease/condition (I prefer the latter) Michael Jackson suffered with and, while my natural skin tone was pretty dark - for a white girl ;-) - I can't imagine what he went through as a teen idol!  Lest you doubt this explanation for his hats, glove, plastic surgeries (so he didn't look so oddly black with white skin), depigmentation, and umbrella, take a look at what vitiligo DOES (click link).

Here's a pic of my first leg "spots" (on my knees):

The result of my own body attacking my melanin as if it was foreign (the nature of autoimmune diseases such as celiac - attacks the intestines when gluten is ingested [I have this too, as do 2 cousins and our late grandfather], and type 1diabetes - attacks the insulin-producing cells in the pancreas [precious daughter has this, as do the same 2 cousins, another cousin, and our late grandfather).

As this FUN adventure in body changes continued (much more rapidly after the birth of precious daughter), I tried body makeup, which only ended up getting on carpets and clothing :/

My students used to get a little freaked out, especially when my hands became spotty, looking like I had something that might be contagious - lol.  But, seriously, I feel for children who have to deal with this - at least I was an adult!
Not that it didn't bother me, mind you!

While dye worked for my hair, I used a ton of full-coverage makeup once it hit my face.

As it got progressively harder to cover up, and my body became more and more vulnerable to the sun (melanin's a protector), I had to drastically change my summer way of life.  Some of you reading this will remember how, even in February, I could lay out in the sun and get a good tan in 30 minutes 8)
No lie!!!

So, I started buying sun protective clothing, STRONG sunblock, and some really attractive swimwear:

~LOL~

I saw a specialist about 5 years ago, to ask him about total depigmentation (a la MJ - :mj ).  At the time I had very little pigment left, but it was in aggravatingly visible places - my lower legs, my shoulders, and my back.  He studied my body under special lights (which make vitiligo "glow"), turned to his assistant and smiled - then turned to me, with a laugh, "This is amazing!  You're so fortunate..."  Not that the disease condition is benign, but that I'd naturally (without the poisonous depigmenting chemicals) lost most of my pigment and looked "...quite normal!"  No, he wouldn't depigment the rest of my body, but sent me away feeling much better, blessed in a way :angel

So, after about 30 years of this self-attacking (the last 15 or so being the most aggressive), here's what's left:

Dark areas are my original skin coloring - having been out of the sun for 10+ years

But I digress...

Back to the HAIR issue!  My FIRST saltiness was vitiligo-induced, my more recent trend is just age ;)

I'm thinking more S at this point, but we'll have to wait a few more weeks to know for sure!!!

OH!!!  And here's an exciting thing - I got a Fit Bit Flex for my birthday last year, but didn't REALLY get to use it b/c...  well, you know, my life took a bit of a meander!

Put it on yesterday and MET MY GOAL of 10,000 steps :e

Of course some of those "steps" may have been the active gesturing I do when teaching ;)