Closing my eyes and asking, "Is it over yet?"

As most of you know, I had my last chemo treatment...

...a poignant end to Breast Cancer Month :tup

My sweet family marked the occasion:

Amazing son took the day off and insisted on coming with me - of course dear hubby came to be my extra ears for my meeting with my oncologist (who came into the room with his arms in the air, victory style, proclaiming my graduation day - of course I had to inform him of my "commencement" preference ;) ).  About an hour into my LAST INFUSION...

The LAST BAG!!!

...my "forever cheerleader" Mom walked in with a dozen PINK roses :)

AND, shortly after, precious daughter showed up, having driven from school to be with me!

Oh, she brought me flowers too :)

I'm SO blessed :angel

When I went back the next day for my nasty Neulasta shot, I brought the wonderful chemo suite nurses a treat (Mama and I made them):

Get it???

Of course I won't EVER have one again ;)

So, I'm done, right???

Well, according to my onco, like baby weight gain, 17 weeks of cumulative chemo, 17 weeks until I feel truly well - REALLY???  I've learned some patience through this ordeal, but I wasn't prepared to hear THAT :(   I refuse to mark my calendar - I'll just try to defy the odds!!!  I've done it once already ;) #BRCA negative x3

Because some of you have expressed appreciation for my honesty and candor, I have a few more things to share.  I promise I'm not whining here, but my last couple of days have been pretty rotten :(

• I've had to deal with some serious stomach issues this round 
• I had a night this week when my pain meds didn't even work
• I woke up this morning with 2 more eyelashes on my cheek, and the corners of my mouth were bleeding

AND I broke down in tears in the grocery store...

I can't put my finger on EXACTLY what sparked the waterworks, but on my way to Publix I passed 2 women walking our neighborhood parkway, enjoying the pleasant day, and it hit me that I still don't have the energy to walk mini Cooper.  Oh how I want that to be me again!!!  Then, while hunting the aisles of the grocery for a product - looking at all the holiday items, anticipating Thanksgiving and Christmas - the pain became noticeable; my legs, arms, and stomach (in a different way) began to throb.  I gave up looking and headed for the check out with my apple slices. Once there, the man ahead of me, chatting amicably with the checker, says to her, "Don't stand too close to that register or you'll lose your hair!" after which he removed his hat to show her his balding head.  There I stood, in MY hat, bald as a baby's butt underneath, and the tears just began to fall - I couldn't stop them.

I quickly donned my sunglasses, checked out, and rushed to my car where I sat and cried...

Guess it comes with the territory.

As I wrote this post, however, I opened the box of messages, sent by a special angel, and read,

"Life is what we are alive to. It is not length, but breadth. Be alive to... goodness, kindness, purity, love, history, poetry, music, flowers, stars, God and eternal hope."

~Maltbie D. Babcock

Each new day is a step forward!