When it Rains, it POURS!!!

Especially in Georgia, during the summer of 2013!

Awesome son's yard last week!!!

As if this hasn't been such an exciting adventure in the Land of the Unknown already, Round #3 really did a number on my gastrointestinal tract!!!  When chemo kills off all new cell growth, that includes the mucosal cells that line your digestive tract - hence the increased risk for mouth sores, nausea, constipation, and diarrhea; among other things!

When I couldn't:

• Sit
• Walk
• Climb up or downstairs
• Lower myself onto or raise myself off of the potty
• Shift my weight from one leg to the other
• Get in or out of bed
• OR sleep (even with help from a usually-friendly Lortab) without screaming in pain...

it was time to seek some assistance!!!

Had already consulted the on-call onco on Saturday.  He recommended sitz baths and continued treatment with the topical prescription - did both - what a joke!

Hubby called again on Sunday - tired of my screaming - and was told to bring me in first thing Monday a.m.

MONDAY

Drs. #1 and #2 (10:00 am)

Oncologist (not mine, since he practices out of another office on Mondays):

Climb up on the table and let's take a look (or something of that nature). 

Me: Give me a minute (or an hour), but PLEASE don't touch me! (He didn't.)

Oncologist: It might be shingles... (since I had an odd blister off to the side - I think it was from sitting on the heating pad too long!) Let's check your white count too..." (enter another oncologist)

Other oncologist (the on-call guy): Let me look at what's going on... (Since it got WORSE under my watch)

Me: (stifled scream!!!!!)

Other onco: Looks like you need to be examined by a gastroenterologist; they have better equipment to see what's REALLY going on.

Then the conversation turned to WHEN - can it be today???  Probably not.  But I have to TEACH in the morning!!!  I don't think so - look at you! You can't even walk!

Well, hero nurse Patty (MY onco's scheduling guru) DID get me an appointment that day!

Good news from that visit - white counts are UP!!!

Home with some Percocet (a step up from the Lortab), pass out for an hour, then up for more...

Dr. #3 (1:30 p.m.) Well, really 2:20, after 30 minutes of life history paperwork and a 10 minute wait without the clipboard

Gastro girl: So what's going on here?

Me: Can't you see? I'm dying! (No, I really didn't say that, just gave her, once again, my life history - can't she just look at the book I wrote???)

Gastro girl: Climb up on the table and let's take a look.

Me: (deep sigh, glance at hubby - she actually asked if I approved his staying in there!  Really? After all he's seen so far, on top of 26 years of marriage???) 

Gastro girl: Now you know I'm going to have to touch you, but I'll be as gentle as possible...  (gloves on, here it comes)

Me: OH, SH#%!!!!! (at least 2 times)

Gastro girl: (after using no "special equipment") They're obviously thrombosed ("Engorgement of a hemorrhoidal vessel with acute swelling may allow blood to pool and, subsequently, clot; this leads to the acutely thrombosed external hemorrhoid, a bluish-purplish discoloration often accompanied by severe incapacitating pain" [http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/81039-overview, para.1].), and really need to be removed. Who's your surgeon?

So she gives him a call, and he wants to see me... today!  In fact, right now!!!  

Wow, the benefits of being a cancer patient 8)

I really liked her.  But she shared that she's leaving the practice in 2 weeks :(

Dr. #4 (3:something p.m.)

My surgeon: (after the same routine, and a similar reaction from me) Yep, we need to do something about this.  I'd do it here in the office, but I don't think a local numbing will do the trick for the pain.

Me: (head rapidly shaking side to side)

My surgeon (I call him this b/c he's done "my" surgical biopsy, mastectomy, and port placement - so far!): We'll schedule it for tomorrow morning.  You shouldn't have to go through pre-op again since you were in not long ago. (MORE benefits of being a "frequent flyer")

Me: Okay. How long for recovery, because I have a chemo treatment scheduled for Wednesday?

My surgeon: Well, I'm afraid that's not going to happen.  It'll take at least a week, maybe more... lada lada lada... (I didn't hear the rest.  This CRAP was going to push off my scheduled treatment for the bigger CRAP!!!)
I was face-to-face with one of my biggest fears: reducing the efficacy of the chemo regimen by messing up the schedule.

I cried then.  Well not THEN, but while waiting for his assistant to schedule my surgery and post-op visit.  Especially after she told me, after consulting with him, again, that it would be 9 days before my post-op visit, and NO chemo until then.  So not a week off schedule, but 2 weeks...

Home, with more Percocet, potato and leek soup, another sitz bath, a ruptured one (the most painful one), hunting a pad in precious daughter's room for the bleeding (no, I don't need them anymore), anger, confusion, and sleep - almost!

As I was drifting off into my drug-induced slumber, my phone sounded a bling, indicating a message had come through.  I stretched over to take a peek, and since it was from precious daughter, checked the message.  She asked if I was okay, and if I'd seen the Facebook message she'd posted earlier.  I hadn't, so I checked.  Here's what it said (I'm sure she won't mind me sharing):

PERFECT <3

TUESDAY

• Surgery went well. My forever helper, sweet hubby, has been amazing AGAIN :)
• No pain today :tup for the drugs 
• Mama's coming over to help tomorrow, and I hope I'll be on the mend after that!
• Looking forward to catching up with work and my classes - SO grateful for the support and the "sub" - and REALLY anxious to get the show FIGHT back on the road!!!

I'll end with this, a verse one of precious daughter's besties shared with her today:

Romans 8:18 (KJV)
For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

Guess what came in the mail yesterday???

I've been waiting for it - not long though, this girl's QUICK!!!

And she refused to let me pay her for it, though I WILL make a donation to her foundation :)

SO...  I have a decision to make:

People who've bought or been given these have made it their business to send her "on location" pictures, some from placed around the world - well I'm NOT going anywhere any time soon!

My List of Options:

1. Stone Mountain? - I'd LOVE to send her a picture from the top of the ROCK, but I'm not sure I'll have any takers this weekend for a hike up the slope ;-)
2. The ATL? - another fair idea, perhaps at Centennial Park or looking at the skyline from the 17th street bridge...  but I don't feel like making the trip JUST to take a picture!
3. Dacula? - Hmmmm...  Nothing REALLY cool to shoot in the background around here, except perhaps our H-Mill entrance - but that dang water wheel is broken again, so that's a no-go.
4. Auburn? - (GA that is) there's a pretty cool old train engine in front of the quaint town center, but we don't live there anymore.
5. Clemson? - Best idea yet!!!  But, unfortunately, I DON'T have tickets to the BIG GAME next week!!!  Go Tigers, FIGHT! (Curb the Dawg ;-) )

Well...  still thinking...

I've GOT IT!

The good ole Mall of GA :)  

Nothing terribly exciting, but it DOES at least indicate where I live!
6.5 short miles away

(Too close for comfort if you ask me!)

And it's SO appropriate right now:

• Mouth sores HURT!!!  - got a solution called "Magic Mouth" prescribed, and it does allow for eating - IF you can enjoy food with a totally numb mouth ;-)  (Oh, and not bite the insides of your swollen cheeks!)
• Hemorrhoids are CRAP!!! - (sorry if that's TMI)  Apparently these are related to the chemo-induced mouth sores :(  Who knew???
• Y_ _ _ _ infections are even WORSE!!! - thought these were gone with menopause!  I haven't had one in YEARS :@
• Bone pain is back and NOT FUN!!! - But, if my online pink sister's theory is correct, the nasty Neulasta is doing its job with my neutropenic state and getting me ready for round #4, the last one with the Red :v

 I'm NOT complaining, though - just using this cool shirt to "speak" my mind :tup

Good and productive week overall :)

2 great classes

Office got a new coat of paint

Dear Brother got his blood drawn for BRCA test

Precious daughter started her SENIOR YEAR!!!

Awesome son is being proactive on the job front ;-)

Hubby FINALLY got his new laptop mount installed in his car!

And COOPER...

Well, he's doing just fine :)

How important is the hair in your nose?

The conversation went something like this...

     Sweet Hubby:  "Do you need a tissue?"

     Me:  "No. (sniff)"

     Sweet Hubby: (about five minutes later) "Do you want me to get you a tissue?"

     Me:  "No, (sniff) why are you asking?"

     Sweet Hubby:  "Well, you sound like you need a tissue!"

It was then I realized the advice of a pink sister to, "ALWAYS carry extra tissues," was NOT in jest ;-)

Yes, I'm losing my NOSE HAIR TOO!!!

Maybe I need one of THESE! 

Or not

So... does it matter???

Apparently so, see:  What is the purpose of nose hair?

I'm not one of those who usually suffers from allergies or sinus issues, so this is VERY frustrating - although a minor inconvenience in the grand scheme of things.

I did lose a chunk of my left eyebrow last week.
Yes, a chunk!
Thank goodness for eyebrow pencils ;)

My eyelashes are also thinning, and a few fell out (same left eye) a few days ago - THAT will be the most difficult thing to camouflage!  I've been told you can just line your eyes and put some mascara on your lids, but I'm not convinced :brow

I've been combing YouTube for ideas...


There ARE some folks who believe you can actually avert hair loss during chemo using a strange process called "Cold Caps"  It's being tested, but my chemo nurse said she's NEVER seen it actually work in the end.  I can't imagine the prep... watch if you dare:  How it Works (I couldn't listen to this guy for long - but several online pink sisters actually purchased these things... then decided they were far too much trouble).

Oh well, bald it is \m/

I probably WON'T order one of those ;)

But, I've already ordered one of THESE :tup

http://www.veneciasfoundation.org/

My bestie gave me an amazing book by this pink sister (see link below shirt) - her story is inspiring, filled with humor and grit.  That the "crap" part came from her friend's student makes it even better from my teacher perspective ;) 

For those who are interested in a Round #3 Update:

• Days 1 & 2 were as expected - felt okay, just a bit "off" again
• Days 3 & 4 were pretty rotten - I WAS able to meet Mama and darling nephew (I know he'd hate I referred to him as "darling" - he's about to start high school ;) ) on Day 3 for a quick outing in the morning, then got too tired and had to go home; Day 4 found me mostly in the bed.
• Day 5 - TODAY!!!  Was a good one :)  Did some work this morning, folded some laundry, then met Mama for an event at her church called "Sweet Tea" - a survivor and caregiver support event.  We were served hot tea (interestingly tolerable given that everything now tastes pretty nasty) around beautifully decorated tables in varied sets of teacups and saucers - wish I'd taken a pic, visited for a bit, and listened to an inspirational speaker.  I even won the door prize for having been born the farthest away :tup  Any guesses where???

I'm thrilled to start teaching this week - can't wait to get going with the semester, and continue to rock the BC battle!

Picture from: http://www.businessinsider.com/the-10-most-idiotic-inventions-weve-ever-encountered-2010-10?op=1

Some BIG News!!!

Went in today for round #3:

Yes!!!  I'm a bit tired o_O

BUT, excited that I'll only have one more :v after today...

Then 4 more treatments with Taxol - takes longer but is supposed to be a little easier :tup

The BIG, BIG, BIG news today, however, is THIS

Precious Daughter does

NOT

carry the BRCA2 genetic mutation :e

I'm not sure I can convey the relief and pure joy that washed over me and hubby - yes, that's the correct English ;) - when my oncologist gave us the results this morning!!!  

Here's what I was TERRIFIED of:

Chart indicates risk with a BRCA1 or 2 mutation

Though she'll still face an elevated risk due to family history, it's much lower than with the gene.

THIS alone will make round #3 totally doable :tup

I shared the message below with her recently, as she headed off for her senior year (can you EVEN believe it???) at GCSU:

"YOU are MY inspiration in this fight against breast cancer <3" 

For those of you who know this special young lady, you completely understand what I mean - especially my type 1 parent friends ;)  For those of you who don't, here's a video (several years old) that might enlighten you: 

Click this LINK - you'll have to scroll down below the post to view the video (there's music, so turn it up!) :tup 

SO...
Now I just need to get Awesome Son and Dear Brother in to be tested :)
My onco team said they could come in any time, did NOT need to be patients, and they'd draw the blood and send it off!  Did I tell you all how AMAZING this team is???

Met and conversed with two more precious nurses this morning (one might not appreciate being called "precious" - but I'm not going to tell ;) ).  Talked about a trip to Alaska with one (she had to sit with me for 20 minutes delivering the :v "push") - this is mine and hubby's plan for our 30th anniversary - and it's where I was born :party

and revealed the lyrics to a catchy-but-racy Bruno Mars song to my main attending nurse who was dancing around while it played - the version below has BOTH English and Spanish lyrics :e

It's hard not to LIKE the song... but probably NOT appropriate to sing the lyrics loudly, 

in a chemo suite ;)

She didn't really KNOW the lyrics...  But she does NOW :tup (teaching moment for the day!)

-----------------------------------------

Hopefully I'll endure whatever side effects come to pass this round with relative ease (relative being the operative word), and be able to adequately prepare for my first class next Tuesday morning :mj

Thanks again to all you praying :angel s out there - you mean SO much to me <3

Clearing My Inbox

It's time to get organized!

If you're an educator you know what I mean!

This is the time of the year for me when I've been collecting materials, making stacks, setting up notebooks, creating presentations, loading things for online access, making MORE stacks, collecting MORE materials,...  You get the drift ;)

So my office at school is nice and neat - of course I've not used it much yet!  But my office at home is a DISASTER!!!

So, in an effort to streamline my life before ROUND #3 tomorrow, AND get myself together before I start teaching next week, I'm literally clearing my EMAIL inbox of some things I'd intended to share earlier :tup

Here are links (in bold) to several items I thought might interest some of you.  

If not - ignore :P

• Research finds Cancers Share Gene Patterns
• Scary Stuff!!!  Advanced Breast Cancer Rates UP in Younger Women
• Something you can do to PREVENT it! (guess I didn't do enough ;))  Aerobic Exercise Reduces Estrogen and Lowers Risk of BC
• Seriously considering going vegetarian after my treatment - Diet Changes that Might Cut BC Risk
• Another reason: The "Three Strikes" Carcinogen
• Why women are better \m/  Boob Trivia
• AND last but not least... 
• Why you all are so important to me :angel - Friends Could Help Ease Pain, Boost Quality of Life for Breast Cancer Patients 

HAPPY DAY!!!

After tomorrow I can cross another thing off my "To-Do" list:

1    2    3    4    5    6    7    8 

Inbox image from: http://osx.wdfiles.com/local--files/icon:inbox-14-icon/Inbox-14-icon.png

Almost Normal... Hiccup... Normal (Almost)

As I recline in bed with my swollen feet propped on the infamous wedge pillow, I'm reflecting on a few wonderful days...

My week began "incognito"at our new faculty orientation, the first of several events that convinced me I'm in a special place among amazing people :)

I rocked Bertha, even posing for a few requisite pix, and had to stifle giggles when folks commented on my great "hairstyle" :tup

Wait for it...

This is a HICCUP - in case you couldn't tell ;)

Midweek brought me back to reality with my between-treatment labs.  My counts were down again, nearly as low as last round, this time with a BONUS!!!  My RBCs and hemoglobin were down too - hoorah! (NOT)  Because labs don't typically involve an appointment with my oncologist, I met with another onco in the office - they wouldn't let me leave after getting my results :@

He checked my blood pressure, heart rate, breathing, legs, etc. and said I was "borderline" at this point for a blood transfusion.  I begged off, explaining, "I'm ALWAYS low.  I've been anemic since the age of 12!"  After checking my records (a rapidly growing trail of quantitative data, I provide a qualitative argument.  "I really feel great!"  "No, I've NOT had shortness of breath, a rapid heart beat, swelling in my extremities..."(that was then ;))

He agreed to wait, but warned me the chemo's impact would be cumulative and to expect the need for a transfusion before round #4 - but not THIS week :)  

Steak dinner anyone???

My WBCs (infection fighters) will bounce back thanks to Neulasta, but he put me on an antibiotic again for protection.

Aunt and cousin were in town part of the week - 'Cuz has a new client in the ATL - so I met them and my mom for a bit of shopping (got precious daughter this beautiful chevron dress for back-to-school/sorority events:

Thursday brought a full-faculty event that included several inspirational conversations as well as smiles and welcomes from some familiar faces - did I mention how excited I am about this job?  Today was long and busy with meetings galore but, again, productive and informative.

On multiple occasions this week I literally forgot about my battle.  Mama warns me continually NOT to get TOO stressed, "because you KNOW that stress brings on bad things!!!"  "But," I tell her, "good stress, the exciting, challenging kind, is SO therapeutic."

Yes, Bertha gave me a headache, but instead of scolding her, I thanked her for her help this week and put her gently back on her stand this evening :)

Oh, one MORE victory - NO BONE PAIN this time!!!

Now it's time for some much needed rest.

HAPPY WEEKEND to all my praying angels :angel  And I'll leave you with this, an image sent to me by one of you ;)

'Hiccup' pic from: http://www.advances-in-medicine.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/Persistent-Hiccups.jpg

Preparing to go INCOGNITO!!!

Well, I'm 4 days out from round #2 and back to feeling somewhat "normal" :)

Tomorrow is a BIG day for me - new faculty orientation - a day-long event where I'd rather not look like a cancer patient ;)

The CLOTHING:

Heading to Macy's (coupons in tow) today to pick up something "cute" to make be feel nice and professional tomorrow :tup

The HAIR:

Bertha be warned, "You'd better hold your own for the day!!!  No itching, no shifting around on my head, and absolutely NO headaches!!!"  "I'd hate to have to bring out the Dammit Doll on you ;-)"

 

She looks great on the form!

And okay here - headband to reduce volume!

So I'll have to do some styling in the morning to be sure she behaves!

Questions I still have about my wig:

• how is it going to look after I actually wash it? (it's synthetic, so it shouldn't need styling...)
• what if I forget to take it off before I open the dishwasher or oven? (singed fringes!!!)
• what happens if it RAINS???

Guess I need to do some research... :mj

The FOOD:

On any regular day, I have to worry about eating out with celiac disease and a soy allergy - BUT, after nearly 7 years, I'm fairly savvy at negotiating dining situations.  BUT, now I have to add:

• nothing raw (including fruits, vegetables, nuts, etc. - what if there's a salad???)
• no meats not fully cooked (how am I supposed to know this?)
• recommended NOT to eat out (really??? - oh well, I'll have to say some prayers and keep my fingers crossed!)

The meal in question is one being served at the college president's house, not really "out" but still questionable!  Needless to say, I'll have some pre-packed snackies along for the ride :tup

The BRAIN:

"Chemo brain" = the mental cloudiness people sometimes notice before, during, and after cancer treatment.  This mild cognitive impairment may include:

• Forgetting things that they usually have no trouble recalling (memory lapses)
• Trouble concentrating (they can’t focus on what they’re doing, have a short attention span, may “space out”)
• Trouble remembering details like names, dates, and sometimes larger events
• Trouble multi-tasking, like answering the phone while cooking, without losing track of one task (they are less able to do more than one thing at a time)
• Taking longer to finish things (disorganized, slower thinking and processing)
• Trouble remembering common words (unable to find the right words to finish a sentence)

THIS is the REALLY scary part!!!  I have a hard enough time anyway (ADHD) - adding this might just put me over the edge o_O

I've got my calendar, notes, iPad, etc. set up and ready to go - I'll just have to keep pinching myself to stay focused ;)

Nonetheless, wearing Bertha and some new duds, THIS is the badge I'll be donning tomorrow: