25 Days Out and...

(Well, really 24, but who's counting??? ;) )

... I'm wondering, "Why?"

• Why am I having so much trouble sleeping?
• Why am I still experiencing pain?
• Why are my eyebrows still falling out??? (though there ARE a few new sprouts on my head, sort of - they're hard to see, but I can feel them!)

Yes, all of this is "NORMAL" but, once again, my lack of patience is making me CRAZY :i

So I got a new hat ;)

Had to break down and call the cancer center nurse line yesterday after 3 nights of literally NO sleep this week (well, I exaggerate, but only a little: Monday - maybe 2 hours, Wednesday - perhaps 1 or 1.5, and Thursday - not a single minute!!!), restless legs and arms, and continued random pain.

Doesn't my body know I'm DONE with this???  It's really okay to stop already!

They took some blood - a traditional vein-based blood letting vs. through my port (ONLY because I neglected to use my numbing cream before going in and I'm truly a chicken) - but I'll have to wait until Monday for the results.  We're looking at electrolytes, calcium, magnesium, and potassium levels, things that might be causing the restless sleeping.  My fingers are crossed that the results give me something I can DO!  I'm pretty good at that - just give me a job dang it, tell me how to fix it and I'm on it ;)

Also finally got my lymphedema compression garments this week.  The sleep sleeve I ordered was supposed to be pink, but not HOT pink!  Apparently the manufacturer made a change - guess I can live with it.

They work to move lymphatic fluids back up my arm and into the areas of my body that are less compromised.  I'm not sure I can handle this every night...

after wearing the darned thing for 3 hours

...I've got to ask again about the recommended frequency.  I DO have to wear a compression sleeve and gauntlet (thumb and hand covering) when I exercise, take long car trips, or any flight - thankfully THAT one's not as puffy and is much less conspicuous (flesh colored vs pink!).

Since some of you have asked, yes, I've got both my surgeries scheduled:

• oovorectomy on Dec. 6th
• left-side mastectomy on Dec. 13th

I'm not expecting any complications, both are planned as out-patient, but boy had I best get going with my Christmas shopping!!!  

On a positive note, a SUPER positive note, my sweet neighbor organized a Bunko night this week to raise $ for Susan G. Komen in my honor :party

What a GREAT time!!! 

She's truly the "hostess with the mostest!"  We didn't EVEN play Bunko (lol) - none of us could remember how to play, and it was more fun to just hang out, eat yummy food (including GF cupcakes with pink ribbons on top), and catch up with neighbors and friends I don't see often enough.  Even met 2 new neighbors!

Check out the precious ornaments she made for each of us:

I'm SO appreciative for the thoughtfulness AND the support of all the girls who came :)

P.S.

Couldn't resist adding this BONUS picture:

Jealous Cooper HAD to join us!
Really, he was just after hubby's hat ;)

I hope that each of you has a wonderful Thanksgiving <3

I know I will!

"Thankful" is a true understatement this year :tup

Closing my eyes and asking, "Is it over yet?"

As most of you know, I had my last chemo treatment...

...a poignant end to Breast Cancer Month :tup

My sweet family marked the occasion:

Amazing son took the day off and insisted on coming with me - of course dear hubby came to be my extra ears for my meeting with my oncologist (who came into the room with his arms in the air, victory style, proclaiming my graduation day - of course I had to inform him of my "commencement" preference ;) ).  About an hour into my LAST INFUSION...

The LAST BAG!!!

...my "forever cheerleader" Mom walked in with a dozen PINK roses :)

AND, shortly after, precious daughter showed up, having driven from school to be with me!

Oh, she brought me flowers too :)

I'm SO blessed :angel

When I went back the next day for my nasty Neulasta shot, I brought the wonderful chemo suite nurses a treat (Mama and I made them):

Get it???

Of course I won't EVER have one again ;)

So, I'm done, right???

Well, according to my onco, like baby weight gain, 17 weeks of cumulative chemo, 17 weeks until I feel truly well - REALLY???  I've learned some patience through this ordeal, but I wasn't prepared to hear THAT :(   I refuse to mark my calendar - I'll just try to defy the odds!!!  I've done it once already ;) #BRCA negative x3

Because some of you have expressed appreciation for my honesty and candor, I have a few more things to share.  I promise I'm not whining here, but my last couple of days have been pretty rotten :(

• I've had to deal with some serious stomach issues this round 
• I had a night this week when my pain meds didn't even work
• I woke up this morning with 2 more eyelashes on my cheek, and the corners of my mouth were bleeding

AND I broke down in tears in the grocery store...

I can't put my finger on EXACTLY what sparked the waterworks, but on my way to Publix I passed 2 women walking our neighborhood parkway, enjoying the pleasant day, and it hit me that I still don't have the energy to walk mini Cooper.  Oh how I want that to be me again!!!  Then, while hunting the aisles of the grocery for a product - looking at all the holiday items, anticipating Thanksgiving and Christmas - the pain became noticeable; my legs, arms, and stomach (in a different way) began to throb.  I gave up looking and headed for the check out with my apple slices. Once there, the man ahead of me, chatting amicably with the checker, says to her, "Don't stand too close to that register or you'll lose your hair!" after which he removed his hat to show her his balding head.  There I stood, in MY hat, bald as a baby's butt underneath, and the tears just began to fall - I couldn't stop them.

I quickly donned my sunglasses, checked out, and rushed to my car where I sat and cried...

Guess it comes with the territory.

As I wrote this post, however, I opened the box of messages, sent by a special angel, and read,

"Life is what we are alive to. It is not length, but breadth. Be alive to... goodness, kindness, purity, love, history, poetry, music, flowers, stars, God and eternal hope."

~Maltbie D. Babcock

Each new day is a step forward!